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After My Second 30

complacency is not an option

same old stuff is not enough

What are my post-30 plans?

More of the same old same old stuff?

As this is my second 30, more of the same old stuff is not good enough! I quickly slid back into old habits after my previous 30.

I don't really think that was a function of not having a plan last time, as I'd written out guidelines, limits and defaults if I lapsed.

Rather, I think it was more of a function of not being truly committed to the plan. Perhaps even more importantly, I didn't realize just how easy it would be to fall back into old habits. I needed to renew my commitment at least every day, and sometimes every minute or second when temptations were there to break my limits.

fresh awareness

So a different approach this time? Yes!

First, I've still written down limits and time goals (which by and large are less than the MM guidelines for the next 30 days)

Next, I've thought through the importance of the first 30 mod days after my 30, and I'm remembering how much better life is without alcohol playing a dominant daily role.

I've got some new activities to pursue, and I really can't do them if I've been drinking. They will require a clear head as they'll involve studying and learning new stuff.

consciously pondering the alternatives

Another difference -- which I'm reluctant to post, but since I'm thinking it I'll lay it out there -- this is basically my last shot.

I've been trying to realize this goal for over 6 years, the last 2 in MM. I've made progress, and yet I've fallen back into old patterns all too easily.

If I blow it this time without major, positive steps forward, I'm going to have to evaluate seriously: Are continued efforts are worth it, or am I just kidding myself? Reluctantly, perhaps, it might become time to change the goal to permanent abstinence.

Maybe that's negative thinking, but it's a reality.

excited, not complacent

Anyway, we deserve all the backslapping and woohoos in the world for successfully completing our 30s!

Let's all be ready for the voice when the sweet rationalization process starts all over again, reframe drinking's place, visualize what it's like to be a moderate drinker, do whatever we have to, but above all else, not think that moderation is just going to happen now that we've completed a 30.

Life, and living with drinking in it, at least for me, doesn't work that way.

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Revised 07.26.2003 mm@moderation.org